domingo, 29 de enero de 2012

My girlfriends

Para la versión en español, 
Mis amigas: http://www.shadyakarawiname.blogspot.com/2010/03/mis-amigas.html




“And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed”.

Khalil Gibran

They say that friends are the family that you choose. I love all of my girlfriends with every piece of my soul. Now that I think about it, I guess that my unmeasured love is because in some way they all are, as I am, a little crazy. Yes, I think that we all are a little insane.


The ones from my childhood, the ones from school, the ones from college, the ones I met out of nowhere, the ones that don´t even speak my language and the ones I borrowed from my sister, my cousins and my other friends. The ones that cry with me and suffer with my pain; the ones that give me moments filled with laughter;  the ones that are my accomplices and back me up in all the silly things I do; the ones that scold me and explain, with logic arguments, why I acted wrong; the ones that hug me and console me; the ones that constantly put Band-Aids over my broken heart; the ones that sing with me the most ridiculous songs; the ones that taught me that looking in another person´s eyes can mean many things; the ones that tell me their most intimate secrets and the ones that don´t tell me anything; the ones that feel nauseas, just like I do, every time we experience strong emotions; the ones that recommend specialized tarot readings and the ones that invite me to church; the ones that are obsessed, like me, with diets; the ones that laugh at my jokes; the ones I see daily and the ones I miss; the ones that make me feel that time stands still and that, even though, we haven´t spoken in ages everything is just the same; the ones that drink wine with me and the abstemious; the rational ones and the ones that are as emotional as me; the ones that don´t stop talking and the ones that tell me everything with their silence. They, the unconditional ones and the ones who are not that much, have always made me feel the most fortunate woman on earth for having them.

The most extraordinary things happen to them. Their daily lives are painted with drama. The evils guys always break their hearts. My girlfriends have the amazing capacity to turn the most disgusting frogs into handsome princes with white horses. They, as the main characters in fairy tales, are convinced that someday they will be capable of changing them. They put these fake princes in very high pedestals that eventually end up crashing against the floor. My girlfriends have an innate talent to fall in love with the wrong guy. They even get to the point where they love them more than themselves.


My girlfriends give all their souls and bodies. They are specialists in creating stereotyped fantasies. They fall in love with a younger man because he makes them feel different and he fills their lives with vitality. Sadly, they end up finding out, after a usually short period of time, that those who sleep with children wake up a mess. They fall in love with the one who is ten years older, looking for maturity and stability, only to find out that the thirty-four year old is much more immature than the one that has twenty, that he has zero level of commitment and that he doesn´t know what he really wants in life.


My girlfriends fall in love with men that live in far away countries and that speak different languages. They learned to make distance their friend and technology their best ally. Some of them are so lucky that they found one or many men along the way that authentically makes them happy and treats them as they´re supposed to.

Some of my girlfriends have never fallen in love and they are afraid to do so. Like if that was something you can control. The thing is that they think that one should fall in love with the head and not with the heart. Sometimes I think that they are right.


My girlfriends have a really hard time believing the frogs when they tell them that they are not the problem. It seems, to my sisters, that it is inadmissible that a guy can think that they don´t deserve such amazing girls, that they are not good enough, that they should look for other better men. Silly. All my girlfriends are silly. Like if experience hadn´t showed them, over and over, that when someone says he is not worth of the love he is receiving, he is always right.


My girlfriends settle with guys who are not at their level, men that don´t have the minimum qualities someone worth having their attention must have. It seems to me that my girlfriends are okay with bearing pathological relationships, psychological abuse and unjustified infidelities. Going back to their former lover is the sport they are all excellent at. To my girlfriends, their ex boyfriends and the ex girlfriends of their actual lover became haunting ghosts that scare at night.

Every single day my girlfriends say that they reached bottom. Oddly, the bottom appears to be elastic because once they reach it, it can always go even lower. Facebook became an addiction, almost incurable, and the profile of their interest of the moment or of the one who is no longer present, receives more daily visits than any other site on the web.

Mi girlfriends promise, over and over, that they are going to end their suffering once and for all. Nevertheless, they believe in second chances and that people can change. Some of them rationalize everything; others, let emotions dominate their lives.


My girlfriends are very hard on themselves. They always are wondering about what they did wrong. They constantly ask themselves if they could have done more. They are convinced that they have to stop being sweet or special or loving. That they have to stop being so honest and giving so much. They are so naive to think that a coward that didn´t fought is worth giving up their essence.

All of them, so beautiful, cry until they are out of breath because their heart was torn out. The tears with mascara appear as the black stains they will carry forever. Many of them have thought that they are losing their minds and that not even the most skilled shrink will get them out of this.


My girlfriends laugh, with everything they have inside, in order to convince themselves that they are doing well. They get very excited when a friend tells them that she is getting married. Then, after the initial news, they begin thinking that the years are running by and that they still have so many things they want to do. They want to live abroad, they want to get the most amazing job, they want to kiss more lips. Adorable, they feel old at twenty-five.

Sometimes, and I really hope it’s only sometimes, my girlfriends feel ugly, too fat or too skinny. They give others the power to do with their lives as they wish. They let others, who are even more insecure, assassinate their self-esteem and destroy their vitality. My beloved ones live in an emotional roller coaster, with accelerated highs and sudden descends.

My girlfriends fall in love and when they get hurt they promise they will never love again. They stay loving alone. They also get tired of disenchantments and deceptions. The sad thing is that when they are finally starting to fly, guilt cuts their wings. They are terrified of being alone and they are convinced that they will never find a man that really loves them. They believe that it´s better to have someone who is bad and known than someone good and unknown.

My girlfriends feel unhealthy anxiety over small things. They feel frustrated and responsible if things don´t work out the way they planned, if they don´t get the internship they were looking for, if they are not appreciated in their jobs and if the idiot of the moment doesn´t value them. I can assure that all of them, or at least the vast majority, stop living the present because they are stuck in the past and are planning to build on a future that is too uncertain.

My poor girls. They haven´t noticed that all suffering is momentary and that, without a doubt, better times will come. It is so hard for them to accept that every human being has different processes and that everyone deals with them in their own way. That men are not that bad after all, and that they cry, as we do. My girlfriends can´t understand that the so-called love of their life has every right to stop loving them, and that we can also get tired of giving love. All of those things happen to my girlfriends. Yes, I must say that they happen to me too.


My girlfriends have no idea of how amazing they are. They are the most beautiful, the smartest, the most powerful. They don´t want to realize that they have it all to be happy. That life is so much more than broken hearts and relationships without closure. I hope that one day they will understand that they have to love themselves very much, and that once they do it they will be able to smile. I wish that they can understand that the frog-princes have never been good enough, because loving kings await them. I dream that one day they get to see that each of them is unique, and that in spite of all their defects and all their qualities, they are loved. That they truly are the best and that I´m not just saying it because they are my girlfriends.

miércoles, 11 de enero de 2012

Nuestro encuentro

Sé que existes. No sé dónde estás, ni cómo te llamas. No sé dónde creciste, ni cuáles serán tus sueños. No conozco tampoco lo que quieres lograr, ni tus miedos. No sé nada de tus glorias ni de tus tristezas. No sé si tienes un amor recién nacido o si estás recogiendo los pedazos de tu corazón roto.

Solo sé que existes, tanto como existo yo. Quiero creer que también me has añorado, que también me has esperado, que también me has buscado en los lugares equivocados. Quiero pensar que, sin saberlo, me ves en cada cara, en cada abrazo, en cada voz.

Cuando yo esté lista y tú estés listo. Cuando sea nuestro momento. Cuando hayamos aprendido lo debido. Cuando la paz reine en nuestras almas. Solo entonces nos vamos a encontrar.  

Por fin podremos vernos a los ojos y saber que el andar valió la pena. Que cada lágrima y cada caricia nos trajo hasta este  momento. Entenderemos nuestras cicatrices y los por qués dejarán de importar. Solo existiremos tú y yo y el conocimiento pleno de haber sido bendecidos por, finalmente, habernos encontrado.

Y, porque somos seres humanos, nuestro amor no será perfecto. Vendrás cargado con tu maleta de recuerdos. Yo, también, traeré la mía. Habrá cosas tuyas que me irriten y otras tantas mías que te saquen de quicio. Pero el amor que sentiremos será tan fuerte que veremos cada oportunidad como un crecimiento mutuo. Seremos tolerantes, respetuosos, amorosos. Yo te amaré así tal cual eres y, de la misma forma, me amarás tú a mí.

Nuestro vínculo será inquebrantable. Creceremos juntos, tomados de la mano. Aprenderé de ti y tú, aprenderás de mí. La dicha será eterna y cada momento será un descubrir, un nuevo sentir, un nuevo vivir.

Tú me dirás que sentiste el abrazo de los ángeles cuándo les pedí que te cuidaran. Yo entenderé cosas tuyas que ni tú entiendes. Conocerás mi alma como jamás nadie la ha conocido. Y me mostrarás que es hermosa, solo para darnos cuenta que la mía es, también, un reflejo de la tuya.

Sonreirás porque finalmente comprenderás por qué con ninguna de ellas funcionó. Yo le daré las gracias a los maestros que se fueron por no haber sido. Nos abrazaremos con la plena convicción de que con ellos jamás conocimos ni la mitad de la felicidad que tendremos el honor de compartir juntos.

Seremos diferentes pero en nuestras divergencias nos complementaremos. Tú adorarás mis arrebatos de ternura y yo me contagiaré con tu risa seductora. Me colgaré de tu brazo orgullosa por el hombre que eres. Tú te sentirás afortunado de recorrer el camino conmigo.

No sé si quizás en algún rincón del mundo ya nos hemos visto. No sé si porque no era nuestro tiempo, o porque estábamos muy inmersos en la ajetreada vida no pusimos atención. Quizás te sentaste largas horas a mí lado y permanecimos, ahí, desprevenidos e ignorantes del amor que algún día compartiríamos.

Será, la nuestra, una de esas historias románticas que hacen vibrar mi corazón. Nos amaremos tanto que esta vida no será suficiente para tanto amor. Nos contaremos todo, lo entenderemos todo, lo apoyaremos todo.

Sabré darte tus espacios cuando necesites pensar y tú sabrás hacerte a un lado cuando yo necesite mis momentos de soledad. Sentirnos, incluso en la ausencia. Y en el silencio, oírnos siempre.

Nuestro amor será tranquilo y sereno como lo suelen ser los amores de almas que se conocen hace demasiados años. Entenderemos que el amor es una elección consciente y que se construye día a día. Con entusiasmo colorearemos ladrillos de esperanza.

Tus ojos coquetos y tu sonrisa tierna me darán las respuestas que por el mundo entero he buscado. Te quedarás en mi abrazo aferrado, con la paz que da el haber encontrado el camino. Seremos cómplices, alcahuetas de risas y forjadores de sueños. Serás mi fuerza, mis ganas, mi equilibrio. Seré tu apoyo, tu abrigo, tu esperanza. Ante todo, seremos amigos.

Me reiré de tus chistes tontos; te enloquecerás con mi sonrisa; te dejaré ganar en los juegos; me harás creer que cocino delicioso. Caminaremos de la mano por la playa. Tomaremos chocolate caliente en la helada montaña. Cada uno sacará en el otro lo mejor que podemos ser.

Mis proyectos se volverán los tuyos. Tus propósitos serán, también, mis metas por cumplir. Compartiremos nuestros anhelos y nuestras inseguridades. Jamás nos iremos a dormir molestos y siempre dormiremos abrazados.

¿Dónde estás? Quiero que llegues ya. Pero, como sé que estás en camino, prometo esperarte el tiempo que sea necesario. Te espero con la paciencia infinita con la que crece un fuerte árbol, con el amor y la ilusión con los que sueña una niña, y con la fe inquebrantable que me permite creer y saber que desde que decidí encontrarte tu también decidiste encontrarme a mí.